New Year's Eve Nepali Style

Dear Readers,

It is 8pm Nepali time on New Year's Eve and we are ready for bed. We sure have been painting the town red! The other volunteers have headed off to Thamel to see what they can find in terms of celebrations, but in a country that doesn't celebrate New Year's Eve, it might be slim pickings. We understand that the countdown was completed at 6:30 pm and all bars, pubs and other establishments will be closed at 11, so I don't think we are going to have any hungover volunteers in the morning.

Tonight I would like to introduce you to 2 more gorgeous poppets.

The first is Hari Salami. On our arrival, we discovered he had just made the decision to change his name to "Hari Nepali". The reason being that Salami is the surname of a low caste and he was tired of being teased and bullied. He discovered that many lower caste people have adopted the last name "Nepali", which is not associated with any caste.

I asked Vinod (the house dad) if it was OK to let Hari know that one of my favourite foods was salami and he said "No ma'am, then he will want to change his name back!"

There is a part of me that just cannot conceptualise the impact of the caste system on someone as young as 8. I have been told that the caste system is not as strict in Nepal as it is in India, even so, it just breaks my heart. But I am proud of strong souls like Hari who is taking his life into his own hands, and even at his tender age is making positive changes in his life. Maybe one day, he will help change his world.

Hari is a ham. He has the funniest faces every time he delivers a line. He pauses and waits for the room the laugh. It is very rare to see anything but the most genuine of smiles plastered to his face. Recently, he has been in a race with the older boys to get to the gate to unlock and lock behind us.

This is Sita. She is a fairly recent addition to the family here at Papa's House. Sita makes my heart squeeze with desolation every time I see her. She was dropped off a few months ago with her paperwork. She arrived with her hair shaved (probably due to lice) and it is so lovely to see that her gorgeous locks are growing back in.

On the nights and the mornings I get to spend a few moments hugging her, I get the sense she has so much to say, so much to tell but just hasn't quite got the vocabulary to express herself. So we sit or stand there in each others arms and I just hold her tight and tell her I love her and that she is now safe. There were days when I was almost certain she was never going to let go, but she will snuggle into my neck, squeeze a little tighter and then let go and go play with her sisters and brothers.

It is going to be very tough to say goodbye on Saturday morning.

Much love,

Fi

Go Speed Racer, Go!

Good evening loyal readers and new visitors alike,

Today I got to fulfill a promise I made two weeks ago...After my first attempt to take Hikmat, Saroj, and Chham go-kart racing went up in flames, I made them a solemn promise to make it up to them. I didn't have to as they didn't hold the place being closed against me, but I made the promise nevertheless. And a couple nights ago, Saroj sheepishly reminded me of my commitment even though I hadn't forgotten (but yes, time was slipping by faster than I could keep up). So enough was enough...I got Papa's permission to pick the boys up from school after lunch (they go to school 6 days a week, and Saturday was Fiona's party), and we headed off to the track with Vinod, the gentlemen who is "Daddy" at the second hostel, and Fiona, who made it very clear that I was going to have one pouty wife if I didn't invite her on our boys' day out.


Given how expensive the track is, I was afraid we were only going to be able to do a few minutes each, but Vinod spoke with the owner, and after much pleading for a discounted rate, agreed that he would do a special package for us - 3 cars for 30 minutes. While the price was a lot higher than I originally budgeted (the place caters to diplomats and dignitaries), it was 33% off the published rates, and with the eager looks of anticipation on each boys face, I was easily convinced to agree.


The 3 boys started for the first 15 minutes. It amused me to no end how their personalities matched their driving styles.



Chham, as the Speed Racer lyrics go, was a demon on wheels. The boy has no fear. Just as he dives for every ball no matter the sport or playing surface, he was full throttle the entire time. He was the superstar of the day, and he knew it even if he was too modest to boast.

Hikmat, God bless him, drove like my grandmother. I've never seen somebody sit up so straight or drive so slowly. And boy did we let him know it! But Hikmat never missed a beat...with a smile beaming from his face, I became "Grandson" and Fiona became "Granddaughter". His smile at the end was just a big as Chham's even if he only did half the number of laps.

Saroj was in the middle of the pack. While not as insane as Chham, or as cautious as Hikmat, he had a few good crashes as he figured out how to handle the kart. Remember, none of these boys have ever been behind the wheel of anything...Never having the driver's ed we each got as a child on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at Disneyland. Saroj was consistently ALL over the course, flailing from side to side, desperate to keep control.


Now that each of the boys got a "crash" course, Fiona and Vinod got behind the wheel and started racing each of the boys in 5 minute intervals. Fiona stunned everyone (except for me) by her driving prowess. The girl drives a Mustang after all, and is quite ept at taking corners at 50mph! Try as the boys might, they just couldn't keep up with my pint-sized Mike Wallace.





Vinod however was able to give Fiona a run for her money. Like Chham, he had no fear, but the increased upper body strength helped him navigate the corners at a higher velocity than his peers.

With 5 minutes remaining, Fiona pulled into the pit, and I got goaded into finishing the race. Mind you, while I have been go-kart racing before, it was probably about 25 years ago, and I spent most of my time in the wall. I didn't want to shatter the illusion that I knew what I was doing by having a repeat performance of the track staff constantly pulling me off the wall.



And sure enough, at the first hair-pin turn I spun out and crashed hard. I worked hard to keep from turning red as I was admonished in Nepali for driving like an idiot. But always one to learn from my mistakes, I figured out the handling, and within a minute was tearing up the track like there was no tomorrow. I was weaving and bobbing through traffic and sending my competitors into the wall (OK, occasionally I got a little too competitive and tried to accelerate into holes 3 inches too narrow and chirped off the wall myself as I squeezed by). While I by no means hold the track record, I clearly had the fastest laps of the day. And hey! I easily carry an extra 50 kilos over Vinod...imagine how fast I would have been if I wasn't lugging around that extra spare tire. :)

All in all it was a fantastic day enjoyed by all. While I feel bad that the cost of such makes it prohibitive for them to enjoy this again in the near future, it clearly is an experience they will be talking about for years to come. Like a child's first trip to Disneyland, there is something entirely satisfying by watching the awe on their face as they experience something beyond their wildest imagination. It's that joy that makes it all worthwhile.

Namaste,


Tom


P.S. Fiona and I sparked a flurry a couple days ago with our posting regarding the Basnet sisters. While we appreciate everyone's excitement and encouragement, a couple clarifications need to be made:


1) Nepal currently does not have any legal method for adopting children. Part due to political upheaval, and part due to not meeting international criteria for foreign adoptions, there has been a moratorium on all new adoptions out of Nepal. While there is some hope that the new Parliament will address this issue, it would be foolhardy to attach a timeline to such given how everything moves in "Nepalese time".


2) As mentioned in the posting, Fiona and I would have to feel as if God truly put it in our hearts to adopt rather than simply being caught up in the moment. As many of you know, Fiona and I agreed before we got married not to have children. I personally feel ill-equipped to help guide a child through their formative teenage years given that I barely survived my own. "Survival" is the only way to describe it as I have no insights as to how to help a child raised in America how to navigate that period of their lives, let alone somebody from a much more innocent cultural upbringing. We do love these girls, but only time and prayerful consideration will determine whether adopting these two angels is a part of our Journey. We don't feel the need to "save" these girls...They are very well taken care of by Papa and are receiving an excellent education. The question really becomes whether the real reason Fiona and I felt so strongly about not having children was due to our feelings of inadequacy to raise children, or if it is all a complex part of destiny allowing us to have an open spot in our hearts and lives for Kabita and Apsara. If God calls upon us to adopt, we'll love them as deeply and surely as if they were our own, but the time is not now. Whether the time will come is a question yet to be answered.

A Birthday to Remember

I had heard rumours of a birthday party but it was all very quiet last night so I was thinking I was about to have a quiet day.

At 9 this morning, a truck rolled into our yard and the kids went tearing out the front door. The caterers had arrived.

I had to pretend very hard not to notice the commotion and head up the hill to the other home. There we watched a Nepali movie and I had a 5 minute nap on Binu's nap.

The children had their regular Saturday tiffin meal of rice flakes and curd. I have to admit, I am game to try most food in Nepal but I do have to pass on the curd.

After tiffin the kids all got ready and we headed back down the hill to play. Dinner was to be served at 4 pm while there was still light.

Anita and Sunita decided that I needed to be put into a sari to look truly Nepali. Good thing I had come well prepared (thanks Mum!).

The dinner buffet consisted of dhal bhat, goat curry, mutton skewers, fruit salad in yogurt and Nepali sweets. Some neighbours came to join in the festivities but the absolute highlight for me was watching the kids eat their fill and then go back for seconds ... and thirds ... and more.

There were many sighs of appreciation and I have to admit it was the best dhal bhat I have eaten in Nepal!

When I was young, my mum had always sighed "Wait until you are a mum, then you will understand." I had never believed her but today I finally understood what she meant. I have carefully stowed into my suitcase 50 handmade birthday cards. Each made with love. I had never understood how a mother could be so thrilled by and display with so much pride wrinkled, straggly, pieces of paper glued together. Today I understood. Each card was painstakingly created with hearts of gold. I am truly loved.

So I now head off to bed at 8pm, stomach filled, and heart overflowing.

Many, many, many thanks to Vinod who organised the whole event with a day's notice!

I love you all & thank you for all the wonderful wishes for my birthday,

Fi

Basnet Sisters

Dear Friends,

Tonight I would like to introduce you to two very special little angels.

In the mornings, on the days I can make it up the hill to greet the children and walk them to school, we pass a little Hindi shrine at the gate of one of our neighbours; Kabita Basnet will stop, ring the bells to invoke the god and places a tikka blessing on my forehead. Of late, Tom has also been a recipient on these morning blessings.

Kabita and her sister Apsara have only been at Papa’s House since April of this year. They were located at a refugee camp with their mother who did not want them. I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to provide a home for these two gorgeous girls. Their mother came to visit in the summer and left after stealing all of the girls' new clothes. You wouldn't know from daily interactions with them that they have had anything but a blessed life.

Apsara is 10 and is a little shy but has fledgling leadership qualities. She is her room's captain and organises all the other smaller girls into their night clothes and tucks them into bed ready for the goodnight rounds. Of late, she has started sharing her bed with Sita to keep warm. Tonight a new little girl joins the home and she will be moving into Apsara's room. I have no doubt she will be welcomed with open arms and cared for very well.

Kabita (13) has a quick wit and has picked up English very, very well. I would've pegged her as having several years' of English education under her belt, not just a few months. Academically, she places 1st in her class of 50 students. I have a very, very soft spot in my heart for Kabita.

Today it was half-Holi and we were able to take the girls down the hill to get a couple of samosas, soda and crisps. They decided it was an occasion to really dress up in their best lingas and we made quite a spectacle heading up and down the hill. I tried very hard to make sure Apsara's linga didn't drag through the mud and water puddles but I don't think we were very successful. Her beautiful black skirt came home crusted in the brown and grey mud that is Kathmandu valley. We truly had a wonderful afternoon with some lovely young ladies.

I very much look forward to watching them continue to bloom. Should God ever put it in our hearts to adopt, and Nepalese law is changed to allow the adoption of siblings, Kabita and Apsara would certainly be extended an invitation by Tom and I to join our household.

With love,

Fi

Male Bonding: Part Deux

Good evening Web Wanderers,

Today was by all accounts a "typical" day here in Nepal, but those are exactly the days that teach the life lessons I came to Nepal to learn.

From left to right we have Kancha (5), Maila (8), and Sandesh (10), the three sons of the cook didi, Dawn Kumari. I don't know Dawn's story, nor do I dare ask, but she's a single mom raising three *very* spirited young men. As she works her tail off caring for the 36 children in the first hostel, her boys are always the first to greet us at the gate each morning when we arrive to spend a few minutes with the children before walking them to school.

I never really gave the importance of their greetings each morning much thought until today. I don't know what it was about today in particular, but I reckon it must have been the look in the boys' eyes that finally tipped me off that they weren't simply rambuncious young boys who saw a living jungle gym, but rather desperate for male attention.

When we first met Kancha, both Fiona and I thought his name was Bipen. Each morning we would greet him, and he would complain insistently about something in Nepali that neither of us could understand. It was more than a week into our stay that somebody finally heard his protests and informed us that his name was in fact Kancha. But despite our complete lack of intelligence, he never held it against me, and spent any time he could hugging me, teasing me to pick him up, or simply pushing other kids away so that he could cuddle in by my side.

Maila is the shy one of the three. He takes a backseat to Kancha, patiently waiting his turn, should Kancha be distracted long enough to take his place on the Super Bounce Machine (The boys like to pretend they're jumping while I lift them high above my head.) Never to be seen with a frown, each morning begins with, "I love you, Father."

Sandesh is the generous soul of the three. While he is very happy to hold my hand and play with me like the others, he also seems aware that his brothers need the time with me as well. Every day since we've arrived, Sandesh has presented us with a present. It is usually a paper airplane, but plastic toy soldiers and heat seeking missiles off a long broken helicopter have also found their way into our pockets. We try to insist that he take them back, but he is adamant that we MUST keep his gift.

And so it dawned on me that these young boys need my attention just as much as the older ones. Sure our conversations are in words rather than sentences, and I surely cannot impart life wisdom on them, but just having a man pick them up, rough house with them, and then tell them that he loves them has just as much impact as affirming the older boys dreams. Seeing me not hitting girls, or waiting my turn in the food line are just as important of life lessons. Each lesson doesn't have to be a philosophical vision of the world... Sometimes the most important lessons are those where they simply mimic your actions until they become habits of their own.

In the end, I figure I'm learning more than I'm teaching, so this is the cheapest tuition I'll ever come by for the quality of the education. While I do admit I sincerely miss the comforts of home, the trip was a critical stop on my life's journey. I guess that means I need to start thinking about my next tattoo. Your suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

Best,

Tom

Twins from Terai

Dear Family & Friends,

Tonight I would like to introduce you to Anita and Sunita who are both 17 and from the Terai region of Nepal. We were very surprised to find out that they were twins because not only do they look nothing alike, they also have very different personalities.

Anita and Michael met us at the airport. Anita immediately took to insisting on carrying my hand luggage and my jacket.

Over the past two weeks I have come to rely on Anita as my guide through the shopping mazes of Kathmandu and on Nepali culture. She is street smart to the core and would make a wonderful ISA for Tom's SSIP group at Maxim. She speaks 4 languages and has only recently added English to her repertoire. I truly believe she would take America by storm if given the chance.

Anita knows the value of things. She makes me laugh when we negotiate. A price will be agreed on and while the vendor is placing the items into a bag, she will try for more rupees off. Occassionally I will tell her how much I would be willing to pay and she will think it is too much money but instead of arguing with me, she will just set a lower price and work up to what I am prepared to pay. Usually I leave paying a lot less and she will flash me a grin and a wink. I love her tenacity and vigorous spirit. Unfortunately Anita suffers from chronic pain and doesn't like to take her medication; she is a girl after my own heart.

Sunita attends the local high school that is taught in the Nepali medium. She didn't feel that she would do as well in a school that taught in English. She is a romantic dreamer. She doesn't walk, she floats. Like her sister, she has a heart of gold and would never think ill of anyone. While Sunita calls me "mummy", Anita calls me "sister". Sunita reminds me of a very young and innocent part of myself.



I cannot begin to describe how wonderful these girls are. They are so kind, so welcoming and ever so generous.

Sending lots of love,

Fi

More Pictures

Yeshorda & her new bear. Rajan & his new monkey - they haven't left each other's side today so hopefully the monkey will help calm his night terrors.

Iggy & his new car. Tom & Depa showing that Tom is "Santa in training"/

Sita and her new winter wrap. Michael taking a few minutes' break.

Hari and Purna's puppy (it was a very popular puppy). Cila and her new watch.

Christmas Collage

Bursting to get into the present room.

Since everyone has been greatly anticipating Christmas photos, this entry is just going to be a collection of pictures of the kids and their gifts.

Thank you to all of you who helped make this happen. I will admit, I was panicking as the kids were getting their present for fear that someone was going to miss out entirely because despite going through the Christmas list multiple times, someone got skipped. Anyway, apart from a couple of sizing issues, which will be resolved over the next few days, everyone was accounted for.

Purna & his new "puppy".

Group shot as they are waiting to open presents. My favourite photos of the day; my little Hugh Hefners in their bathrobes.

"Baby" Anita trying to figure out what she got for Christmas (bathrobe).

Anita & her prezzies. Ashok & the new cricket bat for the home.

Mary opening her presents. Sumitra and her new bear.

Sabita and her new jacket; she looked like a beauty pagent contestant. Bhumika will all her new sleeping companions.

I will post more pictures tomorrow because the internet connection is just super SLOW!

Sending lots of love from Papa's House,

Fi

Not a Creature was Stirring...Well, Maybe One...

Merry Christmas dear Web Wanderers,

I must still be a child at heart...Here it is, 2:30am in the morning, and I'm bright eyed (and I can't even blame it on jet-lag!). Who knew that at 34 years old, I could still get excited about opening presents on Christmas morning, especially when none of the presents have my name in either the "To" or "From". Just the eager anticipation to see each child's face as they see how much Santa loved them this year.

Wow, what a difference 2 weeks can make. While I still am resolute that Fiona and I made the right decision not to have children of our own, I have gotten a peek into the joy and pride each of you must feel each time you gaze into smiling eyes. Combined with the utter responsibility of young men looking for clues as to how to proceed on their journey to manhood and young ladies looking for the traits they will one day search for in a partner of their own, and it's almost overwhelming. As most who know me would agree, I'm the last person these children should look to as a role model, and it's certainly not role I'm comfortable with. But I trust that God helped put me here for a reason, so I will do my level best to be the man Fiona fell in love with 13 years ago, and hopefully the children can incorporate that small nugget into their own lives and not be burdened with the rest. Even if it's simply that Fiona's and my purpose to be here is to show the children how two people can truly love unconditionally and equally, despite all of their imperfections and blemishes, then the trip will be a success.

It's just past 3am, and if I'm to survive the marathon ahead, I should try to get a few more hours of sleep. God Bless each and everyone you. So, dear friends, I close in my most hearty voice,

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

Tom

Adrenaline Rush

Tonight was the first night I was truly scared while in Nepal. While conceptually we understood the current political climate was less than stable, our experiences to date have been nothing short of mundane.

As Fiona and I were walking back in the dark to the 2nd orphanage after saying our good nights at the 1st, I saw a pack of men approaching just as we arrived at the orphanage gate. The gate locks from the inside, and you have to wait for somebody to come let you in. I quickly rang the bell, hid Fiona behind me, and nonchalantly wielded her walking stick as the men drew closer.

The futility of my defense became ever apparent when it became obvious that it wasn't a pack a street thugs, but rather young Maoist soldiers (some looked as if they just hit puberty), all heavily armed with AK-47s and enough ammunition around their necks to rival Mr. T's jewelry. So there I stood, watching at least 100 soldiers (I kid you not) march pass, completely helpless should one decide that my presence was somehow offensive, praying for the gate to open.

The gate did open, and Fiona and I quickly slipped inside, without incident, but it did highlight that we weren't at Summer Camp. This is real life...How well would you react to armed rebels marching down your street in the middle of the night? Things we cannot fathom until it happens to us is just a simple reality to the locals. The ability to take a night time stroll with Fiona in Mountain View suddenly has a new appreciation.

Sorry for the lack of a picture, but I have nothing appropriate, and pulling out my camera at the time strangely didn't cross my mind.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve....Sitting around watching Christmas movies and eating chocolates with the children is sure to lower my blood pressure back to normal levels.

Best to all,

Tom

HipHop in 'Da House

We are not sure if the little kids are excited about Christmas yet but they sure are loving the Christmas movies but the last few days the little ones at the new home have been crazy over their new "HipHop" names.

Everyone here is crazy about HipHop or what they perceive as HipHop. Tom saw Dhiraj one morning and in the big NBA introduction voice said, "It is Deeeee-raj!" From then on, all the other 13 kids wanted their own new names.

So, it gives us great pleasure in introducing our new HipHoppers:

Dhiraj: Big D or just "D"
Ashok: A-Bomb
Purna: Happy (he was most unimpressed by Panther and insisted on Happy)
Ashika: Lil Miss Sunshine
Bhumika: Bee-Bop
Sabina: Sapphire
Sumitra: Yogi
Roshan: Shaggy
Hari: H-Bomb
Jeny: Jenny from the Block
Ishwar: Iggy
Tilak: T-Bone
Yeshorda: KitKat
Rajan: Eyeball
Vinod (House dad): Bollywood
Mary-Kate (House mum): Captain Nemo

If Christmas morning is anything like the past few days (and I am sure it is going to far exceed) it is going to be insane in the most wonderful way.

Sending love from Nepal,

Tommy-G and Fifi-G

Gifts From the Heart

Dear World,

This morning was like every other morning in Dhapasi. We had tea and biscuits with the kids in our house and then got ready to take on the day. We headed up the hill to walk the other kids back down the hill for school.

On arrival at the yard, Binu told me my neck looked cold. She showed me her scarf and asked if I knew how to make one. I said yes, I know how to knit and crochet but her scarf was very pretty. She mentioned that her mum had made it for her but she had another one in her room and this one was for me.

I was just blown away. Just the day before she had handed over her last half handful of makai (Nepalese corn kernels that have been burnt & a few get popped along the way) that her mother had sent down from Gorkha with a volunteer who had visited her village. These are all extremely precious treasures for Binu, yet she is more than willing to share with a virtual stranger.

I was telling Tom about the makai and he stated that he is always amazed that the children with the least are the most eager to share.

I tried to return Binu's scarf, not because I did not appreciate the gesture but because it was too large a treasure to accept. Instead of taking it back, she proceeded to tie it into a tighter knot around my neck with the instruction of not to take it off. The only way I know how to repay such generosity is to crochet her a new blue scarf since it is her favourite colour.

Binu's generosity outstrips her remarkable athletic ability. I am almost almost convinced that the kids from Gorkha are born with an extra athletic gene. She is part of the group who wakes up for their 5:30 am karate class. We have been to watch the karate class and let me tell you, it is C--O--L--D at that time of day!!

I tear up every time I think about this morning and I know I will cherish this little blue scarf for many many years to come.

With a happy heart,

Fiona