Disasters of Trivial Proportions

Dear Family & Friends,

There comes a day in every adventure where things just go wrong over and over and over again and you pray so hard for the day to end so that you can start anew with the morning light. Days where at that moment in time you simply want to cry, but once you stop to breathe and get a good night's sleep, you realize how truly trivial the "disasters" of yesterday actually were in the grand scheme of things.

Yesterday, I was meant to go shopping with the older girls to whittle down the Christmas list and Tom was taking the older boys go-karting. We went our seperate ways around 10:30am, and when we finally re-grouped at 4 pm, we immediately noticed that each other's face just showed the wear of the day.

Tom & the boys took a taxi down to the go-kart speedway. Firstly, their meter was rigged and a 100 rps. ride turned into a 500 rps ride. So after fuming over that, they turn around and notice that the go-kart track is closed for the day since it was Holi! Tom was DEVASTATED! But the boys just shrugged and shook their heads in the South Asian fashion and said "OK". They took a bus back to Namaste market and were treated to soft drinks and potato chips. Tom couldn't believe how his big treat for the boys was just shot to pieces and the boys didn't complain once. They just felt happy that they were out for the day and Tom had spent time with them.

Nirmala, Sangita, Bino, Samjhana & I headed out to Jamal to get 33 pairs of winter slippers for the kids since they are just having plastic flipflops at the moment and their little feet are just freezing cold. It was quite an amazing experience dealing with the various vendors. 1 slipper was 90 rps per piece but when I asked for a discount because we were going to buy everything that they had, the price would go up to 110 rps per piece. Huh???

I have to admit, I threw a bit of a tantrum 2 hours into the process and we had bought nothing. I couldn't communicate with the vendors directly to tell them exact what I wanted and what I was prepared to pay, or even for that matter, what I thought of them. Now, little Bhumika has developed her own sign language system. Frustrated and at a loss, I flipped a vendor what I now call "Flipping a Bhumika"; you clap your hands and swing one hand up and ending in a "L" shape finger point.

Here is a picture of Bhumika demostrating.

We did manage to buy all the slippers we set out to get but it took several vendors to fill the order and negotiating with many more vendors over the price.

However, we didn't manage the 50 bathroboes, 50 gloves and mittens, 12 t-shirts or 20-odd teddy bears. I felt like a shopping disaster!

I had volunteered to cook for the entire home. I was going to make chow mein topped with egg and chicken and chilli. After the exhausting shopping trip, I thought making dinner for 37 kids and 3 didis and 2 volunteers was going to be the calming exercise I needed to unwind. I think some days I am just crazy.

Tom tells me it was prehaps the worst meal I have ever cooked in my life. The children were trying to figure out how to eat their dinner and be thankful and polite to me.

Let me tell you, there is no worse feeling in the world than when you think you are sending children to bed hungry because you sucked in the kitchen.

When I went it to tuck them into bed, I was hugged and kissed and loved with abandon and thanked profusely for cooking dinner. By the time I made it to the last room, I couldn't contain my tears. These children hold no grudges, they love unconditionally and are so forgiving. Despite every boo boo, tantrum & miscalculation we managed to make in a day, the love and the kindness shown to us is truly breathtaking.

My lesson for the day has been that something done from the heart, with great intentions, should it meet a disaster, the receiver will still receive it in the spirit in which it was intended. Our real job in the next 3 weeks we have left here is to continue loving them and reminding them how very special they all are.

From my heart to you,

Fi

Happy Birthday, Dear Depa

And a good frosty morning to you, Web Wanderers,

It's Saturday morning here in Nepal, and after a couple hours of work this morning on some of the business / accounting tasks given to me, I have a few minutes to share with you a most remarkable day yesterday.

Yesterday, we finally had the opportunity to celebrate Depa's birthday. We met Depa our first night (her birthday), and when asked what she would like for her birthday, she replied, "I really would like to go out to a restaurant and eat American food." So we scheduled a trip to "The Roadhouse", probably the most famous Western restaurant in Kathmandu. They serve everything you can imagine, from Pizza to Burritos to Steak to TGIF styled Potato Skins. Depa had one more request; she asked if it would be possible for her brother and sister, Roshan and Cila (who also live at the orphanage), could attend as well. How could we possibly say no to that?

So we hired a taxi for the afternoon and drove into the Thamel district. Upon entering the restaurant Roshan's face lit up like a Christmas tree. It was only then that we discovered the Roshan had *never* been to a restaurant (of any kind) before in his life. While Depa and Cila have been long term residents of Papa's House, Roshan had continued to live with his father in a nearby holy place that has become a slum for the impoverished. It was only with the acquisition of the new house that there was a bed available for him.

We sat down at the table and told the kids they could order anything they wanted on the menu. Roshan was the first to loudly whisper "PIZZA!!! With EVERYTHING!" Depa ordered the spaghetti, and Cila the chicken kabobs. When asked what they wanted to drink, they all carefully studied the menu and came back with a single response, "Chocolate Milkshake!"

I just wish I had my camera out when Roshan's pizza was delivered. It was 14 inches in diameter...The only things wider at the table were his eyes and smile. Multiple the following picture by 100, and you'll have a pretty good idea of his expression.

Fiona and I were amazed at how much food these kids could pack away. Depa and Cila finished their plates and each had a slice of the Hawaiian pizza Fiona and I ordered for the table (yes, I gave the Ham to Fiona). Roshan got halfway through his pizza before pooping out, but also had a slice of the Hawaiian as well. At this point, Cila found my sunglasses on the table and start playing with them. When Fiona pulled out her camera, Cila struck a movie star pose.

When then waddled down the street, our bellies far too full, when Depa shyly asked, "Would it be ok if we have a slice of chocolate cake?" Stunned that they could possible eat another bite, we agreed, and had the taxi driver drive us to a bakery, where Fiona and I sat in awe as each child polished off an entire slice of Black Forrest cake.

Our day ended with each child picking a wool cap (like the Peruvian ones you see at REI) we saw a box of for 90 NPR each (~$1.50). The kids were thrilled for the colorful additional warmth, and ran back telling each of their friends how amazing their day was. When was the last time you got that excited over a Combination pizza and a watered down milkshake?

In closing, I want to extend a very warm thank you to all who have contributed to the Carnivore Challenge so far and to encourage those who are thinking about it to go ahead and pull the trigger. The dollar for dollar match is still in place, but only for a short period longer. If a pizza can create so much joy, imagine the thrill of Christmas morning awakening to presents of their very own.

Best of the season to y'all,

Tom

Caste-less Beauty

Hello World!

One our first night here, I sat down for dinner next to a girl named Kabita. Her first question to me was "Do you know what caste is?", followed by "Do you have caste in Australia?" and "Do you care what caste I am?"

Most of the children at both homes are from lower castes and even though they are young, they have been laughed at, treated poorly and ignored just because of their surnames and the colour of their skin.

Today I am introducing you to Kabita & Kabita M. Two gorgeous girls with wonderful spirits who have been told all their lives that they are not good enough for marriage, not good enough for anything because of the colour of their skin and their caste. Since living at Papa's House, they have come to realise that they can dream and they can be anything they want to be.

Kabita is 12 years old, I am not exactly sure which caste she is in but she is most happy that we don't care. She dreams of becoming an astronaut like Valentina Tereshkova or a doctor if the NASA space program will not accept her. For Christmas she is hoping for a big soft doll to keep her company in bed because she has a recurring nightmare that a man comes and takes her away and chops her feet off. She can hear Michael looking for her in the distance but she cannot get to him because she has lost her feet.

I was shocked to hear about her night terrors because she is such a loving child. She was the first to start calling me "Mamu" (mummy in Nepali) and is always the first to greet us at the gate when we arrive with hugs and kisses. Tom & I are going to make her a dream catcher to let her know that when she sleeps we are looking out for her.

Kabita Mahato is from the Terai region. The Terai is the bread bowl of Nepal but the girls are not considered beautiful because they are "too dark" from working in the fields. She has the most gorgeous smile and kind heart. She wants to be a nurse. Tom and I tell her at any given opportunity how ramri (beautiful) she is. She bursts into a gorgeous smile and start giggling.

Everyday we are in awe and wonder that these children are so well behaved, so well adjusted and so very loving to us and to each other. They are already cross with us that we have been here a week and are leaving in 3 - they want us to stay for at least a year. We love them all very dearly and think we are going to have our hearts broken very hard when we leave.

Sending lots of happy smiles,

Fi

The Carnivore Challenge

Good evening again Web Wanderers,

For those of you looking for Fiona's entry this evening, I must apologize. I had something I just had to share with all of you.

As you've read in the blog so far, I've had a bit of a rough go of it physically so far. A friend recently mentioned to me that my experience sounds identical to boot camp, and I think it's an excellent analogy. Most of the difficulties I shrug off, (like having a heavy blanket on a piece of plywood for a bed), but having no meat in the daily diet is the one area that is really starting to wear on me. Despite being expertly prepared, the smell of curried vegetables is beginning to make me quite nauseous.

The other day, Fiona and I travelled into town to pick up 3 care packages that one of the volunteer's parents sent her. She was busy teaching classes and asked us to pick it up so that they wouldn't mysteriously disappear (which is entirely too common in Nepal). In them were assorted foods for her and supplies for the kids, but what really caught my eye and made my mouth water was the two big bags of beef jerky that was sent to help her survive the next 3 months (she's already been here for 2). That made me think and appreciate all of my close friends that I know any one of them would come to my rescue and send me a box of beef jerky if I asked.

Christmas is coming soon and all of the children have written letters to Santa asking for 4 things they would like for Christmas. Their responses would break your heart. One child asked Santa to bring a doctor to help his crippled friend walk. The other wishes were for things like a new heavy coat since their current one has grown too small. Others asked for school supplies or a new pair of shoes to go running each morning in. Items we consider necessities, are items these children dream about.

So this is my proposal: The Carnivore Challenge. Instead of asking each of you to send me a care package of assorted meat products, I respectfully request that you donate the $50 (or more) you would have spent on food and shipping (it costs $37 just to ship a care package) to ensure these children have a truly blessed Christmas. For every $50 we receive, I PROMISE to go an entire day not bitching and moaning my lack of animal proteins. And here's the best part, a close, personal friend and outstanding individual has agreed to match dollar for dollar ALL contributions up to $2000 submitted as part of this challenge. With 50 kids now, I don't think my pocketbook can do it alone. I can't imagine anything more fulfilling than to make the children believe Santa really cared enough to read their letter and bring them all four things on their list, as well as buy some assorted sporting goods and toys for all to share. I brought a football with me, and despite never seeing one before in their lives, we playing "3 flies up" like pros within minutes.

So please help make their dreams come true at the expense of my ample waistline. Donations can be made via the Paypal link to the left. Just put in the comment section that you would like the funds earmarked for Christmas or the Carnivore Challenge so that we can claim the matching funds and make it a very Merry Christmas for all.

I truly appreciate all of your support. Even if you contributed before, here's a chance to make your money go twice as far and you get my ongoing guarantee that every penny will be spent on enriching these children's lives.

Best,

Tom

Happy Walls

Good evening my fellow Web Wanderers,

I found out today why Michael was able to get such an amazing deal on the rent of the second house he runs (and of which I'm currently calling home); it turns out that the landlady has never been able to rent this house out for more than a couple months at a time because the house is haunted. A supernatural tenant has pushed each and every family that has come to live in the home.

And sure enough, the first night in the new home, not having been told anything, several of the children reported that a ghost had come into their room in the middle of the night and sat on their chests to study them. Having seen a ghost myself once with Fiona in Australia, I'm inclined to believe their story as it was very similar to our experience. Ghosts are curious, and they want to discover who is sharing their home with them.

Ghost sightings have been way down in the couple months since they moved into the new home from the dilapidated shack the previous chairman had them living in. The youngest boy of the house, Rajan, still gets the occasional visit. At 6 years old, he still gets scared by these nocturnal callings, but just in the last couple days has started to realize that the ghost just wants to be his friend instead of meaning him any harm.



This takes me to one of my great life mantras: Walls absorb energy, both positive and negative. How often have you personally walked into a room and felt either an extreme sense of warmth or an intense uneasiness for no discernible reason? It's the walls. I know it sounds like hocus pocus to some, but truly, if you look at various cultures, it's well documented that intense joys or sorrows will stay with a house, resident to resident, until a new event is powerful enough to overwhelm the previous energy.

And that's exactly what's happened here. The joy, laughter, and love that fills the home has turned malevolence to benevolence. The children have single handily transformed a home that nobody wanted to live in into a house nobody wants to leave. Let's just hope the Landlady doesn't find out!!!

I can't wait for Christmas. The joy, awe, and thrill of Christmas morning will have the walls singing for years to come.


Best,


Tom

Letters to Santa

Dear Santa,

I want to know how someone could almost starve and abuse these kids to the point where they were planning on running away together.

They sometimes bicker when they want to play with the same item, they get jealous over whose turn it is to get cuddled, but after all they have been through in the past year, they have the most gorgeous spirits and wonderful smiles.

Today was a slow day for me. The walking stick I procured yesterday in Thamel helped with navigating the unpaved roads but my body decided enough was enough. I did get to spend most of the day at the 2nd home getting to know the kids better.

After tea and biscuits at 6 am I started hair braiding and brushing. The boys LOVE having hair oil put on their scalps and getting their hair brushed. I think a lot of it has to do with the personal physical contact as opposed to being ramro (handsome).

Most of the children at the original home had written letters with their Christmas wish list but for this home, it will be their first Christmas. After dinner, Vindo explained who Santa was and how they were to write their wish lists. They were asked to put 4 items that they wanted.




This leads me to introducing you to Purna. Purna is Jeny's brother. When told he could ask for anything he wanted, he asked Santa for a doctor for Bhumika so that she can walk properly. This brought tears to my eyes; Purna definitely embodies the Christmas spirit without knowing it. A doctor would be a blessing to the home. The children are now healthy and have a little bit of meat on their bones but there are just little ailments we wouldn't normally think about - warts, yellowed toe nails, frost bite, skin issues that they have Nepali words for that I cannot begin to describe.

Many of you have asked if you can send money for specific things when I get a list of what is needed and how much it costs. I think this Christmas, we can easily make it a very memorable one for the kids. They are not asking for anything fancy, just things our children in America and Australia take for granted and would never consider putting in a "Dear Santa" letter. Winter jackets, shoes, gloves, socks, bathrobe to keep warm after their cold showers, school bags, colour pencils, their own colouring book.

They have to share pretty much everything and we think it is very important that they have something they can call their own and establish a pride of ownership.

Tomorrow I am going to put 50 letters to Santa into a spreadsheet so that we can quantify what is really going to be needed. I ask that you think about what you might want do for these kids for Christmas.


Sending lots of Christmas spirit,
Fi

Resistance is Futile

And a fond good evening, Web Wanderers,


Fiona asked me to write today's entry....I guess a few of our frequent readers have started to question whether I would survive the first 48 hours (Thanks, guys!). So here I am, bruised, battered, and amazingly sore (more on that later), but very much alive and kicking.


If 30 hours on planes and in airports wasn't enough to completely throw the body out of whack, the plane ride was a spa treatment compared to the boot camp I was about to enter. While I had tried to mentally prepare myself for anything, I was completely overwhelmed I crossed the threshold of the orphanage. Instantly upon our arrival, I heard a child yell out something in Nepali (which I can only assume meant "Tree!"). Suddenly, I was swarmed by children trying to climb me. Big ones, small ones, young ones, older ones...They just kept coming and coming! Each one was desperate to make an impression. First came endless renditions of Jingle Bells (I really need to teach them some new Christmas Carols!), then came a stream of gymnastic stunts, meant to be bigger and better than the last. Finally, the children would try to one up each other in the title they gave me. I went from "Tom" to "Tom Sir" to "Brother" to "Uncle" to "Father" to "Father and Mother" (the highest honor one can bestow) in the course of just a few hours.


There are three children in particular, who are particularly competitive for my affections: Bipen, Anu Maya, and Anu. I literally can't get 5 feet without one, two or all three of them pulling at me persistently. In the picture, I had just sat down, when all three made a mad dash to make sure they were positioned as close to me as possible. Fiona, being quite amused at my being a piece of playground equipment, pulled out her camera, causing all three to instantly pose for a picture.

So, after countless dead lifts to give hugs, or "Superman"s above my head, my hamstrings and triceps are ready to snap. Combine that with sleeping on a bed where the mattress is the equivalent of a thick blanket and plywood for a box spring, and my body is in a full revolt. But strangely enough, I still find it impossible to say "No" when one of them rushes up to me with an ear-to-ear grin on their face.


This leads to the serious part of my entry, dear readers. I was complete unprepared for how much attention a child needs to thrive. Yes, they are well cared for...Clothed, bathed, fed, and Michael makes a point to tuck each child into bed personally each night. But it doesn't replace every child's need to be the center of an adult's world. I'm sure several of you got a good chuckle at my being referred to as "Mother" (ok, I might have chuckled at that one a little as well), but it shows how desperate these children are for the intense, personal love and attention that should have been their God given right. And I question how I, a person who's never spent more than about 30 minutes interacting with a child in my adult life, can fulfill this need for so many. It's only been 2 days, but I'm already physically exhausted. But mentally, I'm amp'd up, because failure is not an option. I owe it to these kids, and to all of you who have given so generously to the cause, to give it my all. I've got 26 more days, and I plan to make the most of it.



Namaste,

Tom

Clouds of Dust & Tickle Bunnies

Today has been our first full day in Dhapasi and wow, what a different world it is here.

Tom and I are staying at the new home (Yellow Building) where Michael had reserved us the master suite. As an extra bonus this home has solar hot water. We were in bed by 9 pm & woke up at 3:30 am and decided to organise all the supplies we brought with us. By 5 am we heard the kids moving around downstairs. They were off for their morning jog. At 5:30 we heard heart wrenching sobs coming from the boys’ room. One of the little ones woke up in the dark crying since he couldn’t find his brothers. They had decided to let him sleep in since he was too little to take on the morning run. After a cuddle and continual reassurances that everyone was still here, he settled down and broke into his trademark toothy grin.

After their run, the kids fill the courtyard and go through their exercises; jumping jacks, stretches and the like. Tom joined in and made many new friends.

When we planned our trip, we thought it would be lovely to introduce all of you to the children, didis (big sisters) and other staff here.

I am going to start the introductions off with three gorgeous little girls I have nicknamed the Tickle Bunnies.

The children in the new home are very shy. Given their recent history with their last caregiver, it is not surprising. On our arrival, they were all very polite but wary. This morning while most of the children were in the yard for their exercises, I discovered Ashika, Jeny & Bhumika tucked into a single bed keeping each other warm. I stopped for a hug and discovered they really liked tickles and would start giggling before your hand could make contact with them.

From right: Jeny, Ashika, Bhumika.

Ashika is the most outgoing of the group. She is cute and she knows it. When she is caught doing something naughty or told to do something she is not happy with, she will just smile brilliantly and tell you with a shake of her head, “NO!”. She discovered the joy of dancing on Tom’s feet.

Jeny is quite the little spitfire. She was the one who initiated the tickles. She has limited English but is very happy chatting to me in Nepali. When I cannot respond, she put both little hands on my face and looks me deep in the eyes and starts chatting in Nepali again. As long as I smile, hug and tickle, she is quite happy with our interaction. She is also the only one that insists that Tom pretend to be a monster and chase her around the yard. She sure is a little personality!

Bhumika is has special needs. She is learning to walk but is much faster on her hands and knees. All the children dote on her and she responds with a beautiful smile. The center of her world at the moment is Mary Miss, the super efficient, wonderful volunteer here who has been running the home school.

Tea and sweet biscuits is served at 6:30 am. After tea, Tom and I headed off to the other home up the hill to start a session of hair braiding and getting ready for school. Shortly after we arrived, “Holi” was declared and school was cancelled. The disappointment in the children was just palatable.

Breakfast of dhal, rice and vegetables was served at 8 and at 9:30, 11 of the children walked down to the Yellow Building for a visit.

Just after 10 Anita and Sangita accompanied me to the bank to exchange currency and to a fabric shop to buy material for koltas for me. We walked down to the main street. By the time I reached there, I was quite certain I would not be allowed into any shops because I was covered in a deep layer of dust. Like Jamaica, there is constant construction in Nepal. With concrete and granite being the main building materials, there is just a layer of dust that covered everything.

When we arrived at the bank, I wasn’t sure we would make it in due to the large crowd gathered outside waving paperwork at the guards but Anita assured me that there were provisions for foreigners and we were ushered straight through the door.

The fabric store was yet another experience – Anita drives a hard bargain and Sangita was very determined to get me into colourful koltas. I succumbed to peer pressure.

Tom is constantly surrounded by children. He is the biggest, whitest, reddest person the children have ever seen. They think he is Spider-Man because they can see his scar from his surgery on his wrist. If allowed, they would spend hours just rubbing the inside of his forearm!

Much more soon,

Fi