Expectations

Little Sita putting lotion on her face in the morning .... priceless!

Dear All,

Expectations are a funny thing. I started wearing Nepali clothes on my first visit, and I have been slowly adding to my Nepali wardrobe each trip. For the most part, I am in a sari, and occasionally I'll wear a kulta sulwar. I hadn't realised how my clothes was viewed by the kids until a couple of days ago.

On Monday I woke up under the weather. After breakfast, Tom and the girls headed off to school while I stayed home and rested. In the afternoon, I donned a pair of yoga pants and t-shirt and headed off to pick the girls up from school (so very suburban of me!). All the kids checked on me to make sure I was OK and we headed home. The next morning, I decided I was just going to wear what I had worn the previous afternoon just because I didn't want to do more laundry, Tom laughed that I had finally gotten over the novelty of draping a sari in the morning. Ten minutes before Tikaram arrived to pick us up, Kabita says, "Mum, you are staying home today too?" "No, why?" "Nothing." Two minutes later, Apsara comes out of her room, surveys my clothes and says "Mum, today you are not getting dressed?" Called out! Tom grins and points out, "It's your own fault for creating expectations." Thank goodness it only takes me 5 minutes to slap on a sari!

Group birthday celebrations

With so many children at the home, birthdays are now celebrated as a group. This past Saturday was Halloween as well as a birthday celebration. All the children who had birthdays in October were the star event. Pre-birthday celebration was sporting games, and Halloween games. Much fun was had by all.

Kabita in disguise

While Tom chased the kids around in his Halloween outfit, I was on tikka duty. I had tikka'd the girls' house on Apsara's birthday, but the 2nd girls' house and boys' house had requested a tikka too. While I am sure there is a religious rite to the tikka, when I perform tikka, it is not religious. It is purely affection for all parties involved. The children getting a blessing from a parent and I am more than pleased to be able to hand out blessings in a way they culturally understand.

Tom in his Halloween outfit

Yesterday we took Kabita to the Lions' Eye Institute at the Teaching Hospital in Maharagunj. It was a little too far to travel in Kathmandu traffic to Til Ganga Eye Hospital. It turns out she suffers from a moderate case of convergence insufficiency, or as they call it in Nepal, "fusional insufficiency". So we will be traveling regularly to the clinic for her to do exercises on the optical machine, plus I am working with her twice a day, at home, on her eye muscles.

Warning label, Nepali style, on a box of cereal

Tom and I are bravely fighting off a cold. I think it is a combination of virus plus Nepali pollution. While we are living slightly elevated from the rest of the valley, the daily travels out and about seem to have caught up with our breathing passages.

Sending love to all!

Fi

A Crash Course In Parenting

Updated family photo

Hi Everyone!

It's been a very different experience for our little clan. A combination of new experiences, new routines and new expectations, plus throw it cultural differences, and you have a bucketload of new moments.

Our kitchen door that leads into the backyard doesn't quite close firmly, so to minimize drafts, the hotel has a cloth windstop at the base of the door. Kabita says to me, "Mum, I think we have rats." "Rats? Did you see a rat?" "No, they have this here, this is to keep out rats." "Oh, I don't think it is too keep out rats ..." Kabita then looks very troubled ... "Then we have snakes???" It would never have occurred to me that it was to keep out rats & snakes!

Tonight, the girls had to put a few things in the fridge for me when Apsara noticed the freezer. It's a little dorm room fridge, so the freezer had iced. She picked at the ice and very excitedly called for her sister. There was some chattering in Nepali and then the questions came; "What is this?" "What happens if we put in water?" "What is this in it?" (frozen chicken) I found a of couple ice trays and we currently have a tray of water in the freezer awaiting its turn into ice, hopefully before bedtime. I hadn't even thought of explaining what ice cubes where to the girls!

There have been days where I feel all I am doing it cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and doing school runs and the days just run into each other.

I've become quite proficient with hand gestures and a few Nepali words. "Eh!" through the nose and with a flick of my hands and a wrinkled nose shows displeasure at the quoted price. "Che!" with a wrinkled nose shows general displeasure.

I have also become equally proficient at sneaking legumes into meals (legumes? what legumes?), dealing with picky eaters (food pyramid) and doing several things at the same time.

Much love,

Fi

Some pictures & a quick update

Hi Everyone!

Life has been very busy here in Nepal. In addition to the hectic schedule, everything takes 10 times as long to accomplish. There is no ability to make appointments, and if there is, chances are, things are running a few days late.

So here's a quick update on what we have been doing since Saturday:

- Sunday saw internet restored in our apartment. That has saved us taking turns walking to the lobby at regular intervals to check messages. We went swimming in our pool. It was CHILLY! despite it being a rather warm day and just toasty in the sunshine.

Tom & the smallest kids. Reeka & Fi & Kabita Karki

- Monday started early. Apsara needed to go to the dentist. It turns out that one of her baby molars needed to be extracted and boy, did she scream and howl! Everyone at the dental hospital was rather concerned and came running, but no one could console her. I think most of it was just the anticipation of the extraction, then follow by the fact Mum and Dad were there. By the end of school, she was her usual chirpy self and was more than happy to laugh up a storm.

I got the opportunity to meet with Sarayu's family in Chabil and enjoyed everyone's company greatly, not to mention the wonderful food that Amrita prepared.

Fi's daily hair decorations by the girls. Anu Maya & our Apsara sharing a laugh

- Tuesday: We hadn't figured out how to get laundry done in our apartment, so we drove into Thamel and enjoyed a morning and dropped off 10kgs of laundry to be done.

- Wednesday: Our driver, Tikaram, met us with our clean laundry and his brother to drive for us. His 6 year-old daughter developed jaundice and he needed to take care of her. I had lunch with Kalpana in New Road and she came up to meet the girls after school.

Our apartment building. Girls making a wish that Tom won't go bald!


- Today: APSARA'S birthday! What more do I need to say? She woke up to a new t-shirt and when she came into the kitchen for tea and biscuits, Roo was sitting on her chair waiting for her. She handed our lollies at lunch time like a super star and after school, came home, did homework and unwrapped her Lil Miss Sunshine watch. We went out for a dinner of chicken chowmein and lassi and finished up with my family tradition of Black Forest cake for dessert. We think she had a little too much fun today and had to be sent to bed early with a cold. She has a party on Saturday, so more pictures then too.

Apsara doing Romila's hair

Some highlights:

- The feminist movement is in its fledgling state in Nepal. For the past week or so, they have had a feminist conference here at our hotel. We pass a banner every day that reads "We respect men who respect women. Real men do not dominate". It is very cute and Kabita & Apsara have really taken it to heart.

- On that note, our housekeeping staff walked in on Tom ironing the girls' uniforms and stood around for a while chortling. Kabita also walked in on it and her jaw just dropped. Apsara took everything in stride and said, "Dad, that is not correct how you are ironing. Kabita knows how to do, she will do".

- Tom downloaded "Speak and Spell" for the girls and they LOVE it.

- Apsara has been re-writing her life history. A couple of days ago, she said to me, "Mum, because my name is Apsara, that means nobody gave birth to me. I just came down from the sky and God told me to come and live with you."

Hope you enjoy the photos and I will send more soon!

Love

Fi

Setting up home in Budhanilkantha

Dear All,

There is something very amazing and overwhelming about arriving in Kathmandu. No matter how many times you visit, the differences between Australia/USA and Nepal are just incredible. There are so many things we expect as part and parcel of our modern lives but when you are in a country like Nepal, you realize that these things are not expectations, they are absolute luxuries: running water at any time of day, electricity at any time of day and garbage pick up at regular intervals. I watch women pump water from a communal well, children use old car parts as toys, and we have gone from ATM to ATM needing to withdraw local currency only to be told that there is a currency shortage so there is a strict limit at the ATMs.

It has been so wonderful seeing all the children, they are all growing like weeds. They are all still slowly arriving from their villages after the holidays and it might be another week until Michael has full houses again. There is also a house full of volunteers, so things are, as always, quite hectic but exciting here.

This trip, Tom & I are doing things slightly differently. We have rented an apartment at the edge of the city, and Kabita and Apsara have moved in with us for the month. We have 24/7 hot water and electricity. What a treat! Apsara has declared that she is going to have a shower every single day! I also have a little kitchen to cook meals and a couple of appliances at my disposal, namely a fridge, a microwave (its timer dial is not an exact science!) and a mini toaster oven.

Tom and I haven’t quite slowed down to Nepali time yet. We groan in disbelief and frustration when we cannot get our mobile phones to work like they should (“network error” or “network busy”), and we shake our heads at poor customer service. Yet, there are so many wonderful people here too. Because of the location of our apartment in relation to the city and to the girls’ school, we have a personal driver this trip. After having met quite a few taxi drivers who have been vying for the “worst driver in the world” award, we now have one of Nepal’s best drivers. Tikaram is delightfully punctual, careful and incredibly patient, oh and he knows his way around in a country that has no street signs or house numbers! What a bonus! If anyone is coming to Nepal, let me know and I will give you his number.

Today we walked to the Sleeping Vishnu temple in Budhanilkantha and the tide of humanity was overwhelming. The girls and I did puja at a temple and I am sure I stepped in some pretty funky fluidy thing. After returning back to our apartment, I ushered the girls into the bathrooms and we all washed our feet thoroughly!

Another cultural difference we struggle with, given our language barriers, is the pairing of terms eg “salt & pepper”. It just does not exist, or if it does, their pairings are equally obscure to us.
We are still jetlagged and attempting to work out a daily routine. I have a feeling parents are not allowed to ever suffer jetlag and have to hit the ground running at any given time; we have hit the ground but are not quite up to running speed yet.

Nonetheless, we still feel very blessed, and send you all lots of love,

Fi

P.S. I pretty much packed everything, plus the kitchen sink, but managed to forget the USB cable for the camera. Never fear, Tom has an ingenious way of uploading photos, but it'll take me a couple of days to figure out and then I'll post.

Living the fancy life in Pokhara

We have spent the past few days camping out at the Shangri-La Village Resort in Pokhara. It’s been a real treat for everyone. Today we are staying an extra day because of a national bundha (strike). There are many worst places to be. The only downside to it is that we will miss out on a day with the other children at Papa’s House and maybe sessions with various attorneys.

The kids have finally unwound from their exams and it is great for us to be able to breathe again. Pollution is a lot less here.

The girls have been busy experiencing many firsts. First time on a row boat, first time fishing, first Korean meal (which I think has been our best meal out in Nepal), first jigsaw puzzle, first hammock, first real bed, first hot showers, first time with electricity 24/7, first facial, first salad, first time feeding fishes, and the list goes on.

While I have lots of great pics, the Internet is not holding up well so I will only post pics after we get home to California.

Tom and I have also been experiencing a large range of new experiences as parents to two daughters; dealing with tantrums, a sick child and lack of sleep, resistance to new foods/activities and enforcing discipline while having a good time.

Lots of love from Pokhara,

Fi

More Thoughts on Life

I am torn about rain in Kathmandu. On one hand, it cleans the air and settles the dust so that you can breathe, but on the other hand, it makes slippery mud piles all over the valley. There are moments where you wonder if it is just mud or something else …

With the rain, we lost precious electricity even earlier than usual because of the giant thunder and lighting storm. It felt that the claps were right above our bed for a good 10 minutes. We were lucky and our house stayed very dry inside. The girls’ house had one of their play areas totally flooded, and since there is so much open space, a lot of water made it to various areas.

It also took out the Internet at our house, so we were without a line to the world for 3 whole days!

The lane outside our house is finally getting paved. Nepali women fill me with awe. On a diet of dhal bhat, they do ALL the heavy labour on any construction site. While I cautiously navigate the pebbles and broken bricks, they glide effortlessly over the same area with over 20 kgs of building material stacked on their backs and balanced by a towel wrapped around their heads.

The men, like every other construction site in the world, stand around, direct traffic and sing and whistle.

It seems each new day in Dhapasi brings a new house. Our little village is no longer a village but a sprawling suburb.

I keep forgetting to tell everyone – Apsara has mastered the art of riding an escalator! I am so proud! We have a new supercenter near us and it is all very exciting. Kabita is not impressed by the concept and hops on the first step and then races up to the rest of the steps to get off ASAP. They also have an elevator, but with the power outages, I am not so keen on giving it a go, even if Bhat Bhatini has its own generator.

One of my most cherished moments is walking Apsara to school in the morning. Even if I look like something the cat dragged in, we have the same conversation on the same stretch of the walk:

A: “Mum?”

F: “Yes?”
A: “You are looking sooooooo beautiful today”
F: “I love you”
A: “I love you too”

We had a Holi on Thursday and Saturday this week, so it has been wonderful to spend time with the girls. We’ve played Monopoly and Connect 4, and they are attempting to master Checkers.

Our friends here in Kathmandu have been very generous, and have extended their wonderful hospitality each Holi. It has been a totally new experience for the girls to visit with friends, and to share a meal with adults where they are a part of the conversation and the ongoing activities.

Tom and I picked up some workbooks for the girls via Amazon, and they are powering through them; I think if we get the chance to bring them home, they will be very well prepared for school. I still can’t wrap my head around my 8 year old doing algebra at school!

Things on the legal side is plodding along Nepali style, so we just treasure each moment we get with the girls and acknowledge that we are not your average family, but it is just how we are.

Sending love, as always,

Fi

A Day In Dhapasi

Dear All,

I can’t believe we are nearing the middle of our trip, and Tom and I are just getting into the swing of life here.

We wake up, and every few days I try to get some laundry washed and hung before we head up to the 1st girls’ house. There, I very slowly do hair (again I am not sure how Michael and his staff braid 45 heads every morning in record time), no more than 4 or 5 girls on any given day and then we walk the first set of girls down to school.

Since exams started, Kabita attends school at 1 pm and Apsara heads off at 9 am.

After dropping the kids off at Skylark, we pop in to say “good morning” to the new girls from Narti and the “new” boys who are all being homeschooled. Snowball gets a quick cuddle too.

As morning classes start, Tom and I head off to buy some veggies and head back to the volunteer house for a spot of tea and breakfast. By the time we gather our thoughts, it is time for the first round of tiffin.

We meander down to the 2nd house to say “hi” to the kids heading off the school for the 1 pm session, say “hi” to the big kids who finish at 12:30 and then wait for the 1 pm tiffin session kids. I know, it gets very confusing!

This week, things have been slightly different since Apsara finishes school at 1pm, so we have been spoiling her with treats. Yesterday, we took her to KFC (Kathmandu Fried Chicken), and today I cooked goat and pulau for her, and she helped me paint the many Nalgene water bottles Tom had picked up for the children.

At 3-ish, we walk her back to the house so that she can get ready for her tuition session with “Ma’am” who comes to the house everyday at 4pm to do exam prep with the girls. Kabita gets home just after 3:30pm.

By 5:30 pm, we are wiped out and today, I came down with a cold, so we head back to the volunteer house, to wait for electricity and stare at each other wearily but happily.

One week until we take the girls on our first family vacation to Pokhara; I can't wait!

Lots of love,

Fi

Luckiest Tourist in All of Nepal

I was the luckiest tourist in all of Thamel yesterday afternoon. We had finished a morning of shopping, negotiated for a taxi and gotten in, when we were asked to get back out by a policeman because the taxi had picked us up in a “no picking tourists up” section of the street (this is new). We got out and the taxi drove off, then I realized my wallet had fallen out of my backpack into the back seat of the taxi. So I started screaming and running after my taxi and half of Thamel’s rickshaw drivers also ran after my taxi. It took a couple of tries before my taxi (whose driver was completely oblivious to the commotion) was found and my wallet returned. Of course, by this stage, the taxi had driven past the “no picking up tourist” zone and we hopped right back in and came home. When we reached Dhapasi, he made doubly sure that I had not left my wallet behind again!

The kids are all still studying very hard for exams. We are praying very hard that teachers do not go on strike or have a general strike called between now and the 30th of March or else it will ruin holiday plans.

Michael and his staff are amazing; with exams, each class has different schedules, so they are getting ready for school at different times, and coming home at different times, and having lunch at different times. I can imagine the stress of that for most parents with a couple of children but to have 102 kids to cater for, it is just amazing.

I got ready for the upcoming holidays by picking up some classic story books at the Education Book House to read to the girls before bedtime.

You are getting a rash of blog entries because we have been getting electricity between 4pm and 8pm ... we are getting spoilt!

Love

Fi

My 8 year-old wears Prada ...

Today was a wonderful day. It was Holi, so we were very excited to be able to take Kabita, Apsara & Chham to meet our friends, the Gurung family, who were having a family reunion in Chakrapath.

The kids got dressed up and we headed down the hill in search of a taxi. We probably could've walked but I decided I didn't want to show up red faced and bothered.

At the Gurung's we were fed a hearty breakfast as well as juice, tea and biscuits and prawn crackers. It was a great experience for the kids to interact with friends and family. Uncle Gurung Snr explained to Chham the benefits of working hard and joining the British Gurkha Army, and extended an open invite to his home any time Chham had the opportunity. We promised we would take Chham back for another visit before we left for home.

After our visit, we headed to the new Bhat Bhetini shopping center and the kids experienced escalators. While Tom and I thought it was lots of fun to watch, it was serious business for the kids, especially Kabita, who is such a serious soul on any given day.

We left the shopping center with 2 pairs of shoes for Apsara and a pair of shoes for Chham. Apsara got a pair of sneakers as well as party shoes, which was a $6 pair of Prada knockoff ballet flats. I was mildly jealous.

This was followed by ice cream and then lunch at the corner chicken sekawa. I am always impressed by the amount of food little kids can pack away. Since I was all excited by tetra paks of Harvey Fresh milk, I made hot chocolate for them when we got back to Dhapasi.

All in all, it was a very full day with lots of happy memories. Tomorrow it is back to school and exams.

Sending lots of love,

Fi

Back in Nepal - AGAIN!

Dear All,

Yes, we’ve done it again; we are back in Dhapasi. Many things have changed and nothing has changed, all at the same time. The dust in the air is still as thick as ever and dhal bhat first thing in the morning is still tough on the gut. 20 hours a day without electricity is also pretty hard.

Our Kabita is as tall as I am (not much of a feat, some of you will think), but at least both girls still think it is pretty cool to hang out with Mum and Dad. This morning, Kabita greeted us at the gate with Christmas gifts she had made. Tom has a new scarf and I have a new handbag and head band, all knitted with love and a good dose of skill. We are blessed.

On the way here, we stopped in Singapore and stayed the night in a hotel that had an “Aspara” spa. We took the spa menu with us and this morning, Tom tried to tell Apsara that she had been spelling her name wrong the whole time, and this was how she had to spell her name from now on; if it is in print, it must be true. The poor girl looked torn and not 100% sure if he was jesting. We are tough parents.

This trip, we are staying at the new volunteer hostel between the two homes. Two weeks ago, 26 new girls joined the growing family here at Papa’s House from the Dang Region of Nepal and they now occupy the old volunteer house. That property now also has a loyal mascot, Snowball, the dog. Snowball is usually white and tan but due to the recent Holi, was tikka’d by all the kids, so s/he is currently pink, white and tan. I haven’t looked to see what sex the dog is, but depending on the child, it is either a boy dog or a girl dog.

While there are many luxuries I miss when I am here (like constant electricity), there is nothing like getting a bag of fresh vegetables for $1. My veggie lady tried to sell me mushrooms, I am sure they were perfectly safe but I really wasn’t in the mood to try strange fungus on my first week here!

Tom has been serenading the kids with hip hop and old show tunes. American Idol, eat your heart out! While he was entertaining, I was undergoing my obligatory zoombra (nits) check, you’ll be pleased to know, I am currently zoombra free, let’s hope it stays that way. All the girls are mortified at how short my hair is but they understood why my hair was as short as it is.

Exams start tomorrow, so all the kids who attend Skylark Academy are studying hard. This afternoon I plan to have a mock spelling test for Class 1. Despite all the pressures of exams, we will have the opportunity to celebrate many birthdays.

I know this blog is missing photos, but I will post some pics in the next day or so (or when we next get electricity at a decent hour).

Lots of love,

Fi