I Can't Believe I'm Missing This!

Good early morning, dear friends near and far,

I'm not sure I'm actually allowed to blog since I'm currently in Shanghai instead of amongst the love and laughter known as "Papa's House". But it is only my body sitting staring out of my high rise window at a darkened Shanghai skyline. (It is actually quite amazing...The Shanghainese complained about the light pollution, and now each night after a certain time, the city goes black.) My heart and spirit however are with my wife, my two beautiful daughters, and all the other gorgeous young souls who exude the love, kindness, and courtesy we all should strive to achieve.

First and foremost, I would like to take this opportunity to extend a personal debt of gratitude to Dr. Keith. Keith recently helped me to fulfill a promise to Sabitra Didi...Yes, Keith donated new prosthetic feet. Not only was the quality first rate, he over-nighted them over a weekend to make sure Fiona got them before she left for Nepal. I honestly can't thank Keith enough for his tired-less efforts to get these done in time, and his compassion for helping to change a young woman's life. I hope someday I am in the position to return the favor. Thank you, Keith.

I also send a warm thank you to my dear wife, Fiona. As global economic conditions sour, my company put me on a plane to China to find and capture new business as China had a measly 9% GDP growth in the 3rd Quarter (and this caused alarm in China as it is the lowest growth in modern history). Compare that to the rest of the world, and soon, speaking Mandrin will become a must to do business in the global marketplace. But I digress. The unfortunate fact is that Apsara's Birthday was on 29th of Oct, and I wouldn't be able to make it after attending Kabita's Birthday in May. Fiona, despite the physical challenges she faces, volunteered to make the trip solo this time to ensure both of our girls know they are both deeply loved.

Fiona troops on each day, and by all accounts, it sounds as if the cosmos all work out for a reason...The one thing my girls needed most was simply mother-daughter time. Fiona and I, as you may have deduced, are connected at the hip. The one downside of the closeness of our relationship is that we are often viewed as a singular entity, with my natural aggressiveness and playfulness sometimes overshadowing the "soft" skills Fiona is so fluent in. This trip has allowed our girls to begin to put the pain of the past behind them, and bond with Fiona as the mother God always intended for them to have. You can tell from the stories Fiona tells me late each night that the girls finally understand why the bond American children and mothers are so strong. We don't beat them. We spend time reading with them. And most importantly, we simply reassure them of their limitless potential. This is something they've never experienced before. I feel very blessed. My only regret is I am unable to see them blossom in person.

Finally, my two cents on meat night. As dedicated readers will know from the "Carnivore Challenge", I had a really rough go of it due to the lack of meat while I was in Nepal for my first stay last December. When I went back in May, I was amazed at how much the boys had grown in just the short period we were away. The first question many of the boys asked me was, "Big Daddy, can we have meat again while you are here?" It made me realize how blessed I was to have a steady diet of animal protein growing up to become the 6'4", 250lb man I am today.

Michael does an EXCELLENT job providing for all the children. But given the lack of consisitent corporate sponsorship, there are financial realities in caring for over 100 children, and meat becomes a luxury item. I made the decision to finance a weekly meet night not only to add to their nutrition, but more importantly as a weekly reward to growing boys who truly appreciate the gift as a reminder "Big Daddy" loves them dearly.

So, to future volunteers, I ask you to respect the fact that this is my gift to the boys. These kind-hearted souls would give you every last piece of meat off their own plate if you are not attentive to what they are doing and allow it. So please, contribute a couple dollars so that extra chicken can be bought. Don't allow your mind to think "150 rupees!", but rather, "Wow! A chicken dinner for $2USD?? I would pay at least $10 for this in the States!" I know budgets are tight, and that you are giving your time freely to these children, but please be respectful that this is a personal gift from me to the boys in appreciation for the difference they have made to my life. I'm more than happy for you to share in the joy of evening, but please contribute your fair share to keep this going for many years to come.

My best to all,

Tom

Meat night

Hello Web Wanderers,

Tonight was meat night in the boys' house. After our last trip to Dhapasi, Tom decided that meat night was something he wanted to do for the boys' once a week. I wish he was here to share it with them. It is a highly anticipated evening, and when the meat was ready, they was an excited hush as the boys ate their fill of meat.

It is not often that this group of boys are quiet, they are all so full of spirit; but here we were at meat night and everyone was concentrating very hard of getting every last bit of meat off the bones.

For you foodies out there, Nepali chicken is totally free range. And by that, I mean they run up and down hills foraging for food. This means the meat is rather on the tough side. Also, when you buy it from the butcher, he or she will chop this chicken into bite-sized pieces. It is an amazing process to watch but for a foreigner, the chicken gets a little tricky to eat and work around the little pieces of bones. It is all incredible, wholesome fun.

The most important part is that the boys love it and as Vinod puts it, "It's in my blood!" Vinod or Sabita didi always make this wonderful curry base with tomatoes and onions to cook the chicken in. I believe the base changes every week, which just adds to the excitement of the evening.

Since all of you know how much I enjoy my food and cooking, it was just so joyous to watch them savour every mouthful.

As the boys' and volunteers all share the same home, and have meals at the house, we have requested that if they wish to join in meat night, there is a charge of 150 rps (just under US$2). If they are vegetarian, there of course are other meal options for them.

Sending you much, much love, and going to bed with a happy stomach,

Fi

Where's Dad?

Dear All,

Some days you wake up and you wonder “What the heck am I doing?”. On Tuesday lunch time I boarded a flight from San Francisco to Tokyo, then had 40 mins to get to my flight from Tokyo to Singapore, followed by Singapore to New Delhi.

When I reached Delhi, the goal was to buy a ticket to get me all the way to Kathmandu. People on the plane thought I was insane, but everyone was very kind. Little did I know just how very hard it is to get a ticket at 5:30 in the morning to KTM. My morning involved running around Delhi airport for 90 mins letting everyone know I wanted a ticket to KTM. I briefly entertained the idea of taking a 55 hour bus ride to KTM, but it didn’t last long.

This was followed by a ride in a taxi into the city center and spending 3 hours with a travel agent who wheeled and dealed me a ticket. Apparently there is an underground market for tickets to KTM at the moment because of the upcoming religious holidays. Travel agents had bought extra tickets in hope of selling them for a premium to wallies like me, and boy, did they clean up today!

There is nothing in the world like a Delhi sunrise, pollution, followed by a Delhi peak hour road closure.

Despite all of this, when I saw the children, it was all worth it.

Of course, as Tom predicted, I was greeting with screams and laughter “Mum!! Welcome to Nepal! Where’s dad??!!??”. None of them quite believed Tom was unable to make this trip. They kept eyeing the gate waiting for his big booming voice. By dinner time, the news spread that yes, Dad really was in China for work then the new question started "Dad is coming after China??" Poor poppets.

I will post pics soon, and updates on life here in Dhapasi - the kids have all grown (especially Purna) and I will work hard at giving out twice as many hugs.

Sending love as always,

Fiona

Back in California ...

Dear Readers Far and Near,

Here we are, once again back in sunny California and missing everyone in Dhapasi. We miss the laughter of children playing, waking up to the kids getting ready for their morning exercises, and, finding out about their day, while sharing a meal with them.

Since we have been home, Tom has been battling various ailments picked up in Nepal. While there are prescribed medical treatments for everything, there are moments where it just feels like it is going to go on forever.

It reinforces for us, yet again, the wonderful care and love each and every child receives at Papa's House. Because of volunteers and supporters, Michael and his staff are able to look after 75+ children in Dhapasi and Lamahi. Providing them with education, medical care, a sanctuary from the harshness of life in Nepal, and most importantly, heartfelt affection.

Thank you for all the emails and notes people have been sending. Apologies for our tardiness of reply. If you are interested in spending some time with some of the most remarkable children you are ever going to meet in your life, drop Michael a note or visit www.VolunteerNepal.org

Much love as always,

Fi

Rugged Journey To Unexpected Blessings

Dear All,

Some of you may have been wondering what has happened to us in the past week. Well, the short answer is, we took an unexpected trip to the Nepali countryside.

The long story is, on Monday morning, we discovered that Kabita and Apsara needed to return to their village to get registered. Naturally, we volunteered to take them. Unfortunately, we were not 100% clear on what the journey entailed. Nepali people's definition of "near" and "road" is V-E-R-Y different from our own.

We were told the first night we would stay at their maternal grandfather's home, it would be "near" the road that the taxi will drop us. The taxi ride was going to take 2 hours. The next day, we will walk to the girls' village on a "road" to get registered. The reality was the taxi ride took 4.5 hours with Nepal's worst taxi driver, the grandfather's house was a 1 hour hike up a hillside, and the walk to the girls' village was up the side of what I would consider a mountain, 5 hours away. See photo below for a picture of the "mountain".

Since I barely made it up the hill to the house, Tom decided I was to stay in the village. Tom, Kabita, Apsara and two uncles left at 4 in the morning while it was still dark so that it would not be so hot. I spent the first few hours of my morning having all the village children and women observe all my bodily functions and then three hours husking dried corn with the girls' aunt. The rain came down HARD and I was so worried they were going to be swept off the mountain.

When they missed their assigned home coming time, we started sending messages down the hill to see if anyone else had seen them. It was very reminiscent of 101 Dalmatians. It was with great joy, when they finally arrived home close to 3 in the afternoon.

Tom said he just felt blessed that it was such an overcast day with a gentle drizzle or he would not have made it. It was so amazing that they did not experience the same rainfall I had. Apsara never complained once and he was quite certain that she has a billy-goat gene built into her DNA. The "road" over the mountain was basically a vertical staircase carved into the side of the mountain. The uncles and girls just scrambled effortlessly up and down. Tom was 110% sure that there was just no way that I would've made the trip.

As with everything in Nepal, things take a lot longer than planned. We had planned for 2 days, but with lack of transportation and bureaucracy, we stayed from Monday until Thursday. By Wednesday, poor little Apsara was just worn out. I cannot imagine what a tough trip it was on her little body.

It was really wonderful to be able to see first hand the life the girls had before Papa's House. The obvious affection they have for their extended family and the returned affection was lovely. It was wonderful to know that the girls were raised with family who care about them.

The hospitality shown to us by their family was just stellar. They were constantly trying to feed us, but we were usually too hot or too tired to eat. I would've posted more pictures except for the slow internet upload, so we will save those for later.

As always, we send much love,

Fi

Happy Birthday Kabita!

Dear Friends,

It would appear that we have been celebrating Kabita's birthday for quite a few days but her actual birthday was yesterday. We spent Wednesday, Thursday and yesterday morning teasing her that since the strike was on, there would be no Friday this week. Some of the smaller kids were appalled that a birthday would be skipped, and stomped their little feet and walked me to Michael's birthday list posted on the kitchen door and pointed at Kabita's name and birth date and very indignantly said "Look Mum! Look!"

With a sigh of relief for the little ones, the cake and presents appeared after dinner last night. The cake was another spectacular Papa's House creation. Fruit sponge cake topped with melted chocolate and fresh mango. The ooo's and ahh's of appreciation from the girls and Kancha was just heartwarming.

Kabita's haul of presents included new black and pink sneakers, jeans, blue t-shirt and kulta sulwar, as well as many lovingly made cards and posters from her brothers and sisters.

As promised, today we took Kabita and Aspara for pizza. They could each invite a friend, and Bhumika and Chham joined us. I think the photos speak for themselves as to how much they all enjoyed a trip out to Thamel. Apsara made other diners at the restaurant smile as she waved goodbye to the basin of lotus as she headed out the door.

I know many of you are wondering what is happening with the possibility of bringing Kabita and Apsara to live with us. The reality is, it is impossible. The Nepali government has revised it's adoption law 3 weeks ago, and surprisingly, it is exactly the same as the last set of laws. Nepal is possibly the only country in the world where they would set up research committees and work for a year to produce a new legislation that is a carbon copy of the last one. However, we are still hopeful that Kabita and Apsara can make a trip to Disneyland with us in the near future.

Much love from all of us here in Dhapasi,

Fi

'Ello Yellow

Dear All,

Life has been very hectic here, thus the lack of blog entries.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow is a general strike, which means there is no school for the kids. You have never seen children so sad at not being able to attend school. They wake up in the morning and still head straight for their textbooks.

Yesterday we took advantage of the hot weather and lack of school to take everyone swimming. The Nature Club is on most maps of Kathmandu and local people that you speak to all know where it is, so I was very surprised to find that the pool was rather small. Nevertheless, the kids all had such a wonderful time splashing for just over two hours. Little Jeny Rai was so exhausted from the whole experience, Oli (one of the volunteers) had to carry her home, fast asleep on his shoulder.



When we got here, we discovered that Apsara's favourite colour was "ello". After two or three tries, her favourite colour is now "yellow". We are very impressed by how hard the girls and all their brothers and sisters are working on their school work and perfecting their English pronunciation. Our Nepali is more than dismal in comparison.

More later,

Fi & Tom.

Girls' Day Out

Dear All,

Last night our little family marched up the hill with my pillow and sleeping gear. I was invited to a sleepover in Kabita and Apsara's room. Michael has done such a wonderful job with discipline with these kids that even though they had a distraction in their midst, they were all asleep before 9 pm.

This morning, we were up by 5 am and Kabita headed downstairs to start making breakfast. I had the job of cutting beans, potatoes, garlic and onions. I think it is much safer to be in the position of preparation rather than cook after my attempt last year!

Anita, Sunita, Kabita, Apsara and I had planned a shopping trip to Jamal a few days ago. To make sure we left on time, Tom volunteered to complete the washing up instead of Kabita. Didi Dawn Kumari very firmly put her foot down on that notion! She is such a wonderful lady, we both only wish we were able to speak with her in Nepali.

We caught a taxi from Basundhara to Jamal. Apsara has discovered that she really enjoyed the view from the front seat. In Jamal, we went from shop to shop hunting down a purple lengha for Kabita and a pink sari for me. We both completed our shopping trip with clothes we didn't set out to buy - Kabita will now have a silk pink and purple kulta sulwar and I have a silk turquoise sari with a pink and gold border, as well as a brown cotton sari for everyday wear.

Anita and Sunita patiently translated and bargained for us. Once again, I cannot begin to express how wonderful these two young ladies are.

For lunch, Anita introduced us to a dish called samosa chat; talk about spicy! Apsara had tears running down her face and we ordered an extra dish of momo to take the spice away. The ability to have a huge lunch for under US$1 a person is one of the pleasures of Nepal.

As we left in the taxi from Jamal, we saw a street march heading towards us. We left just in the nick of time! Anita tells me it was a congress protest.

The afternoon was spent at Papa House II with Kabita and Apsara, who were both dying to spend time with Dad. The three of them cracked open one of the coconuts I had bought in Jamal and enjoyed some lychees too. It was incredible that a kilo of lychees was cheaper than apples! I know what I am going to feast on from now.

As always, sending much love,

Fi

P.S. I had to include a picture of corn in this blog. Every available spot of land is swaying with corn stalks. It is obviously a vegetable that grows easily. And here, it will definitely be consumed as food rather than converted to biofuel. On the way home in the taxi, I saw a vendor grilling corn, I haven't told Tom yet, but I am sure he'll have to pay a visit very soon.

Daddy's Little Girls

Hello dear Wanderers,

Today finds Fiona and I sitting in the Volunteer kitchen, staring at the rain, and contemplating the last couple days in Nepal. These past few days have been a few of the most memorable of my life.

As Fiona mentioned in her last entry, we've begun spending private time with Kabita and Apsara; separating them from the collective and allowing all of us time to simply get to know each other better. The first afternoon after our walk in the rain, we scurried back to our room, and the girls got changed into Fiona's clothes. Warm and dry, we found a deck of cards and Fiona and I taught the girls the time honored games of "Crazy 8s", "Rummy", and "Go Fish". We were amazed at how quickly the girls picked up the rules and started developing strategy. For two children who never spent a day in their lives in school prior to a year ago, they are amazingly intelligent.

The next day, Fiona cooked us all lunch and we ate together as a family up here in the volunteer kitchen. There was something entirely satisfying about sitting around the table enjoying a hot meal as a family. Family dinners will definitely be a staple of the Gilbert household.

After lunch, we sat down with Vinod and asked him to help translate, as we wanted to talk to the girls about their past so that we could understand where they came from. While the conversation itself was far too personal to share here, Kabita cried as she recounted the horrors she suffered at the hands of her father leading up to her arrival at Papa's House. Apsara sat silently, listening intently, and occasionally whispering in Kabita's ear. With not a dry eye in the room, I asked, "Do you think some day I might hit you, too?" Kabita suddenly sobered up and said, "No, father! I know you would never." "You're right, my darling daughter. I promise to never hit you, and I always keep my promises." By this point, the tears were forgotten and the smiles returned.

The afternoon was finished watching a Bollywood movie, "The Krazzy 4s", which of course the irony was not lost on the girls that they just learned how to play Crazy 8s.

That night was Kabita's turn to help prepared the evening meal. All day, she kept reminding me that I had to have dinner at the first hostel. I wish I had a picture of the look of pride she had on her face when she handed me my plate of food. Despite a stomach still churning from too much curry, it was the most delicious meal I've ever tasted. You could taste the love with each and every bite.

And here's the part that amazes me the most...With 53 children all needing love and affection, there is not an inkling of jealousy radiating from our girls when we hug, kiss, and tell other children we love them. They simply stand there, with sparkles in their eyes, waiting for each of the other children to have their turn before taking up residence again at our side. Even as children, they understand the love we profess for them is different than the love we profess for others, and they are willing to share that affection openly and willingly. I have yet to meet two more generous, unselfish souls. I always thought Fiona was the pinnacle of such traits, but these two girls are infinitely ahead of us both in this regard.

I'm looking forward to the next 2 weeks.

Best,
Tom

The Secret Is Out ... We Are Back in Dhapasi

Dear Dedicated Readers,

Yes, the rumours are true. We are back in Dhapasi visiting with everyone here at Papa's House. We had told Michael and Vinod to keep our visit a surprise, and boy, were the kids surprised! Vinod picked us up from the airport, having sent the boys up to Papa House I to play. We dropped out luggage off ta Papa House II and headed up to surprise the kids.

We arrived at the gate and there were just shocked faces. They weren't quite sure what to do or what they were seeing. Then the first child screams "Tom-dad" and then the avalanche of hugs and kisses began.

The kids have grown since January. There have been a few changes since we left. All the girls now live at Papa House I and the boys (with the exception of Kancha) live at Papa House II. Both groups are thrilled to be living in a single gender home and the younger ones are definitely benefitting from the wonderful example the older kids set.

Dhal bhat for breakfast is still a bit of a shock to the system but it is a pleasure to be able to dine with the children.

Yesterday Tom, Kabita, Apsara and I headed down to Basundhara for some supplies and were caught in a rain shower. As we were heading down the hill, we were thrilled that the weather wasn't too warm but then the rain drops started and grew and grew. By the time we were half way up the BIG hill, we were pretty much the only ones left on the streets as all the Nepali people had headed to shelter. When we reached Papa House II, the four of us looked like drowned rats!

There is a huge sense that we are coming home when we arrive here in Dhapasi. I cannot begin to describe the intense emotions we are feeling. To see all the children blossoming is just heartwarming. The love the have for each other and their ability to share it will all who come is a fantastic testiment to all the hard work Michael and all the staff here put in.

All our love,

Fi & Tom

For Those Interested in Volunteering

Dear Soon-To-Be Volunteers,

For those of you who are interested in volunteering at Papa's House, please check out the following website:

http://www.volunteernepal.com/

You can also email Michael Hess directly at: michaelhess@wlink.com.np Michael will be able to give you an up-to-date account of the available projects and the situation in Nepal.

Keep well and happy,

Fi & Tom.

Contact us

Dear Web Readers,

We have been getting many reports that people have been trying to contact us by leaving comments on our blog or getting in contact with us through friends.

Unfortunately, we have not been able to return message left for us on the blog because most people have not left their contact details.

If you would like to contact us, our email is: TomAndFiona@JourneyToNepal.org

Thanks!

Sending much love as always,

Fi

Home Again but Not Really

Dear Family & Friends,

We are now home in our condo in California. It is so quiet without the laughter of 50 children playing in the yard.

There were many tears on the last day. As the children were wiping tears from my face, telling me "mum don't cry", I was reciprocating by wiping tears from their little faces. The walk to the taxi was very long and not long enough at the same time.

We thought we would have very organised and co-ordinated goodbyes; we invited each child into the room with us and said private goodbyes. We did not plan for how very heartwrenching the event would be.

Little Jeny Rai, in particular, ripped my heart out. Jeny was always infatuated with Tom and I was just the person who did her hair in the mornings. On the last day, she was not her usual outgoing self. Instead, she was very introspective and kept very close to me. She alternated from wrapping herself around my neck and tugging on my arm whispering "I love you, don't go". I kept asking myself how the children with biological parents could walk away from them without wanting to visit at every given opportunity or find a way to be with them full time.

Every child wrote us letters. They did not help the flow of tears. It became clear that the chidren were intrigued with a married couple who laughted and loved each other. If nothing else, we hope we have left the impression for both boys and girls that a marriage is a partnership rather than an abusive relationship.

Letters from the children have started arriving via email. We are definitely looking forward to watching all of these wonderful children bloom into fantastic adults. One of the first questions Nepali people ask is "Do you have children?", we can now answer "Yes, we have 50". We definitely have left a large part of our hearts in Nepal with the children and all the people who look after them at Papa's House.

If anyone has questions about volunteering at Papa's House or are sitting on the fence about an experience like this, do contact us. Everyone told us it was going to be a trip that would change our lives, they had no idea how right they were.

Sending much love,

Fiona

The Difference a Month Makes

Dear Friends & Family,

Tonight is our last night in Nepal. It is going to be a sad morning and a very, very long flight home.

It is hard to believe that we have been here 4 weeks and we are leaving tomorrow.

This brings me to Ishwor. “Iggy” arrived at the home a couple of weeks before us. When we first met him he was very standoff-ish and asserted himself by sitting on the younger boys or pushing the girls around. One month on and it is a totally different child.

He has a brilliant smile and is the first in line to give us hugs or to get his hair done (he vehemently refused to have me touch his head when I first arrived). He helps the younger children get ready and with their school work. It is an absolute testament to the love they have received from Mary-Kate, Vinod and everyone here at Papa’s House. Michael has set a wonderful precedent of care and love that each and every child receives.

We will be leaving our hearts behind tomorrow.

Sending you much love,

Fiona

Personal Day

Hello Everyone,

Fiona's and my day revolved around private reflection. As such, there will be no update for today's events.

Tomorrow is our last full day in Nepal, and the children are already jockeying for our time. Somehow, in the next 36 odd hours, I have to show 50 children that they are loved, cherished, appreciated, and will never be forgotten. I never really stopped to consider the impact on these children's lives of my *leaving*.....

A wrap-up may have to wait until we get home...I anticipate a late night tomorrow.

Best,

Tom

Angels Galore

Good evening Web Wanderers,

It seems hard to believe that our month in Nepal is rapidly coming to a close. Unfortunately, it seems impossible to introduce you to all of the children in the homes before our departure, but tonight I would like you to meet two other sweet angels that have touched Fiona and my lives.

The first girl is Mary Rai. Mary's real name is Gyahunta, but she quickly latched onto her nickname and made it her own. I first noticed Mary when reading Michael's website; you could tell from her smile that she was an introspective soul. And indeed she is. When we first arrived, I was really looking forward to getting to know her and was a bit disappointed that she seemed to have no interest in me. I could see her give me the occasional glance from a distance, but she would never come in for a hug like most of the children.

But over the past week, she has suddenly warmed up to me, and I've gotten a chance to really see the depth of her personality. Perhaps the jealousy of seeing the affection heaped on the other children became unbearable, or perhaps I somehow unknowingly passed the test for her to open up to me. Now she comes in for big hugs, and I get the Nepali kiss reserved for the most prestigious (a kiss on each check and then on the forehead) and the proclamation ,"Father, I LOVE you SOOOO much!" Mary is actually quite self confident and helps me by translating what I'm saying to the younger children. Yesterday, we took 6 children to get sodas and samosas; Mary amongst them. Mary naturally took a leadership role and helped Fiona and I keep the group together in our single file line. A natural leader - she got the other children to do what we wanted without coming across as bossy.

Her little sister, Rasmita, also joined us on our adventure yesterday. Rasmita is a slight show-off. One of her favorite things to do is play hacky sack with a ball made out of rubber bands (almost all of the kids in Nepal seem to have one) and make sure everyone knows how many times she was able to kick it before it hit the ground. Rasmita warmed up to me much earlier than Mary, but given her English is still quite basic, she isn't able to always communicate what she wants to say and gives up trying despite gentle prodding from me. But she always runs off with a smile, and each night fights her way through scrum to make sure she gets her goodnight hug and kiss.

These are two other girls that could easily be fallen in love with. Both always look upon you with a smile expressing the pure joy and goodness in their hearts. Innocent to the core, they are two angels whose nightly hugs I'm going to miss dearly when we depart on Saturday.

62 hours and counting....

Best,

Tom

Kit Kat

Dear Family & Friends,

This is Yasoda. She is a girl after my own heart. When we first arrived, she would barely make eye contact but she would always be walking briskly around the house with a stack of books or have her nose buried in her books, studying very hard.

She has picked up English very quickly and has been my very patient Nepali teacher.

She is extremely shy but once she warms up to you, she is just the most lovely soul.

Yasoda is the oldest girl in the new home and the younger girls just hang on to her every word. She sets the benchmark on behaviour and we are pleased to say that she sets the standard very, very high. She has the heart of a leader; she just needs to believe that herself too.

When Tom was allocating new hip-hop names to the children, she was mildly distressed at being named after a chocolate bar but very graciously accepted it since he had picked it for her. Since then, she has developed a skip in her step and loves being called Kit-to-the-Kat.

We both think she is just gorgeous and has model potential but we can see her equally becoming a doctor or a teacher.

I look forward to morning tea and biscuits because I know she would've saved me a seat next to her on the kitchen bench. She still doesn't say much and just likes holding my hand. There are just some things you do not need words for.

Happy New Year!

Fi

New Year's Eve Nepali Style

Dear Readers,

It is 8pm Nepali time on New Year's Eve and we are ready for bed. We sure have been painting the town red! The other volunteers have headed off to Thamel to see what they can find in terms of celebrations, but in a country that doesn't celebrate New Year's Eve, it might be slim pickings. We understand that the countdown was completed at 6:30 pm and all bars, pubs and other establishments will be closed at 11, so I don't think we are going to have any hungover volunteers in the morning.

Tonight I would like to introduce you to 2 more gorgeous poppets.

The first is Hari Salami. On our arrival, we discovered he had just made the decision to change his name to "Hari Nepali". The reason being that Salami is the surname of a low caste and he was tired of being teased and bullied. He discovered that many lower caste people have adopted the last name "Nepali", which is not associated with any caste.

I asked Vinod (the house dad) if it was OK to let Hari know that one of my favourite foods was salami and he said "No ma'am, then he will want to change his name back!"

There is a part of me that just cannot conceptualise the impact of the caste system on someone as young as 8. I have been told that the caste system is not as strict in Nepal as it is in India, even so, it just breaks my heart. But I am proud of strong souls like Hari who is taking his life into his own hands, and even at his tender age is making positive changes in his life. Maybe one day, he will help change his world.

Hari is a ham. He has the funniest faces every time he delivers a line. He pauses and waits for the room the laugh. It is very rare to see anything but the most genuine of smiles plastered to his face. Recently, he has been in a race with the older boys to get to the gate to unlock and lock behind us.

This is Sita. She is a fairly recent addition to the family here at Papa's House. Sita makes my heart squeeze with desolation every time I see her. She was dropped off a few months ago with her paperwork. She arrived with her hair shaved (probably due to lice) and it is so lovely to see that her gorgeous locks are growing back in.

On the nights and the mornings I get to spend a few moments hugging her, I get the sense she has so much to say, so much to tell but just hasn't quite got the vocabulary to express herself. So we sit or stand there in each others arms and I just hold her tight and tell her I love her and that she is now safe. There were days when I was almost certain she was never going to let go, but she will snuggle into my neck, squeeze a little tighter and then let go and go play with her sisters and brothers.

It is going to be very tough to say goodbye on Saturday morning.

Much love,

Fi

Go Speed Racer, Go!

Good evening loyal readers and new visitors alike,

Today I got to fulfill a promise I made two weeks ago...After my first attempt to take Hikmat, Saroj, and Chham go-kart racing went up in flames, I made them a solemn promise to make it up to them. I didn't have to as they didn't hold the place being closed against me, but I made the promise nevertheless. And a couple nights ago, Saroj sheepishly reminded me of my commitment even though I hadn't forgotten (but yes, time was slipping by faster than I could keep up). So enough was enough...I got Papa's permission to pick the boys up from school after lunch (they go to school 6 days a week, and Saturday was Fiona's party), and we headed off to the track with Vinod, the gentlemen who is "Daddy" at the second hostel, and Fiona, who made it very clear that I was going to have one pouty wife if I didn't invite her on our boys' day out.


Given how expensive the track is, I was afraid we were only going to be able to do a few minutes each, but Vinod spoke with the owner, and after much pleading for a discounted rate, agreed that he would do a special package for us - 3 cars for 30 minutes. While the price was a lot higher than I originally budgeted (the place caters to diplomats and dignitaries), it was 33% off the published rates, and with the eager looks of anticipation on each boys face, I was easily convinced to agree.


The 3 boys started for the first 15 minutes. It amused me to no end how their personalities matched their driving styles.



Chham, as the Speed Racer lyrics go, was a demon on wheels. The boy has no fear. Just as he dives for every ball no matter the sport or playing surface, he was full throttle the entire time. He was the superstar of the day, and he knew it even if he was too modest to boast.

Hikmat, God bless him, drove like my grandmother. I've never seen somebody sit up so straight or drive so slowly. And boy did we let him know it! But Hikmat never missed a beat...with a smile beaming from his face, I became "Grandson" and Fiona became "Granddaughter". His smile at the end was just a big as Chham's even if he only did half the number of laps.

Saroj was in the middle of the pack. While not as insane as Chham, or as cautious as Hikmat, he had a few good crashes as he figured out how to handle the kart. Remember, none of these boys have ever been behind the wheel of anything...Never having the driver's ed we each got as a child on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at Disneyland. Saroj was consistently ALL over the course, flailing from side to side, desperate to keep control.


Now that each of the boys got a "crash" course, Fiona and Vinod got behind the wheel and started racing each of the boys in 5 minute intervals. Fiona stunned everyone (except for me) by her driving prowess. The girl drives a Mustang after all, and is quite ept at taking corners at 50mph! Try as the boys might, they just couldn't keep up with my pint-sized Mike Wallace.





Vinod however was able to give Fiona a run for her money. Like Chham, he had no fear, but the increased upper body strength helped him navigate the corners at a higher velocity than his peers.

With 5 minutes remaining, Fiona pulled into the pit, and I got goaded into finishing the race. Mind you, while I have been go-kart racing before, it was probably about 25 years ago, and I spent most of my time in the wall. I didn't want to shatter the illusion that I knew what I was doing by having a repeat performance of the track staff constantly pulling me off the wall.



And sure enough, at the first hair-pin turn I spun out and crashed hard. I worked hard to keep from turning red as I was admonished in Nepali for driving like an idiot. But always one to learn from my mistakes, I figured out the handling, and within a minute was tearing up the track like there was no tomorrow. I was weaving and bobbing through traffic and sending my competitors into the wall (OK, occasionally I got a little too competitive and tried to accelerate into holes 3 inches too narrow and chirped off the wall myself as I squeezed by). While I by no means hold the track record, I clearly had the fastest laps of the day. And hey! I easily carry an extra 50 kilos over Vinod...imagine how fast I would have been if I wasn't lugging around that extra spare tire. :)

All in all it was a fantastic day enjoyed by all. While I feel bad that the cost of such makes it prohibitive for them to enjoy this again in the near future, it clearly is an experience they will be talking about for years to come. Like a child's first trip to Disneyland, there is something entirely satisfying by watching the awe on their face as they experience something beyond their wildest imagination. It's that joy that makes it all worthwhile.

Namaste,


Tom


P.S. Fiona and I sparked a flurry a couple days ago with our posting regarding the Basnet sisters. While we appreciate everyone's excitement and encouragement, a couple clarifications need to be made:


1) Nepal currently does not have any legal method for adopting children. Part due to political upheaval, and part due to not meeting international criteria for foreign adoptions, there has been a moratorium on all new adoptions out of Nepal. While there is some hope that the new Parliament will address this issue, it would be foolhardy to attach a timeline to such given how everything moves in "Nepalese time".


2) As mentioned in the posting, Fiona and I would have to feel as if God truly put it in our hearts to adopt rather than simply being caught up in the moment. As many of you know, Fiona and I agreed before we got married not to have children. I personally feel ill-equipped to help guide a child through their formative teenage years given that I barely survived my own. "Survival" is the only way to describe it as I have no insights as to how to help a child raised in America how to navigate that period of their lives, let alone somebody from a much more innocent cultural upbringing. We do love these girls, but only time and prayerful consideration will determine whether adopting these two angels is a part of our Journey. We don't feel the need to "save" these girls...They are very well taken care of by Papa and are receiving an excellent education. The question really becomes whether the real reason Fiona and I felt so strongly about not having children was due to our feelings of inadequacy to raise children, or if it is all a complex part of destiny allowing us to have an open spot in our hearts and lives for Kabita and Apsara. If God calls upon us to adopt, we'll love them as deeply and surely as if they were our own, but the time is not now. Whether the time will come is a question yet to be answered.

A Birthday to Remember

I had heard rumours of a birthday party but it was all very quiet last night so I was thinking I was about to have a quiet day.

At 9 this morning, a truck rolled into our yard and the kids went tearing out the front door. The caterers had arrived.

I had to pretend very hard not to notice the commotion and head up the hill to the other home. There we watched a Nepali movie and I had a 5 minute nap on Binu's nap.

The children had their regular Saturday tiffin meal of rice flakes and curd. I have to admit, I am game to try most food in Nepal but I do have to pass on the curd.

After tiffin the kids all got ready and we headed back down the hill to play. Dinner was to be served at 4 pm while there was still light.

Anita and Sunita decided that I needed to be put into a sari to look truly Nepali. Good thing I had come well prepared (thanks Mum!).

The dinner buffet consisted of dhal bhat, goat curry, mutton skewers, fruit salad in yogurt and Nepali sweets. Some neighbours came to join in the festivities but the absolute highlight for me was watching the kids eat their fill and then go back for seconds ... and thirds ... and more.

There were many sighs of appreciation and I have to admit it was the best dhal bhat I have eaten in Nepal!

When I was young, my mum had always sighed "Wait until you are a mum, then you will understand." I had never believed her but today I finally understood what she meant. I have carefully stowed into my suitcase 50 handmade birthday cards. Each made with love. I had never understood how a mother could be so thrilled by and display with so much pride wrinkled, straggly, pieces of paper glued together. Today I understood. Each card was painstakingly created with hearts of gold. I am truly loved.

So I now head off to bed at 8pm, stomach filled, and heart overflowing.

Many, many, many thanks to Vinod who organised the whole event with a day's notice!

I love you all & thank you for all the wonderful wishes for my birthday,

Fi